Hey there. Nice to see you.

No, no, you don't know me. Just trying to be friendly is all.

New here, right? Yeah, thought so... new folks always got this look in their eyes, you see. It says "Hey, I don't know down from up, anymore. Give me a pointer before someone turns me into a poker chip!"

Okay... sorry, bad joke. You got to give me some slack, here. I used to make bad jokes to pay the rent. You know what they say about old habits, right? Well, same thing with bad jokes and bad comedians. The good ones who don't make the big time all get put back in the deck for the next shuffle when they croak, but us bad ones always get laid out on the side.

Ah, listen to me mash my gums. You don't wanna hear that shit. Pull up a stool and sit a while, huh? Hey, Jimmy? Yeah, get my friend here a drink and put it on my tab.

Yeah? Oh, of course you're gonna get paid, you cheap sonofabitch! Payday ain't till next week is all.

Jesus. It's getting so a guy can't have a shot of Juice without someone... ah, there we go.

What is it? It's Juice, friend. Pathos. The house special's "Bitterness with a shot of Gnawing Regret," but around here we call it a Red Eye. Here's to your Pardoner - downa hatch.

AHHHH. That's got a real bite to it... if you roll it on your tongue you can almost taste the last phonecall she made, still rolling around between his ears a whole year later. Heh. It's good stuff and keeps getting better all the time but I think the field's gonna go dry soon, if you know what I mean? Yeah, this time I think I could actually see the
gun he wants to buy. Ah well... plenty more where that came from, eh? Lots of Quick fish in that deep, dark sea...

So what happened to you, kid? Don't want to talk about it? Hey, no problem. This ain't like AA or anything - "Hi, my name's Michael, I sang in a rock band... and I'm... an autoerotic fatality." "HI, JERKOFF!" HA! I kill me...

Well, let me introduce myself. The handle's Izzy, but around here everyone calls me Ratzy. Yeah, long story I can't really get into without a certain someone interrupting, if you know what I mean.

Like the house special? Yeah? Hey, Jimmy! Yeah, keep 'em coming. I got a real dead one here.

Ah, it's no problem. It's your first time at Fort Baker and I bet the guy that hauled you out of the dice bag didn't give you the grand tour.

Yeah... Reapers these days. Used to be they'd at least try to explain stuff before they handed you over to whoever they were pitch-hitting for. These days it's just pull, chain, drag and drop. Always nice to feel like a potato on legs.

Ah well, here's to your Pardoner.